A Wandering Writer

I was up last night, and the night previous, and will be for the next two nights.  I work!  Graveyard shift in the summer sucks!!!

Being a working mom sucks.  It really does.  Some people really enjoy being a working mom.  I used to enjoy being a working mom.  But then came baby, and the whole new world of finding day care.  Got the baby in daycare, yay, us.  But now, my shift changed, so I needed to change the days my kid was in daycare (on the part time plan).  Sorry, you can't do that.  You're locked in.  But you could go full time, if you want...at a $200 increase in my bill!!  Thank God my dad was cremated.  He'd be rolling in his grave right now.  He was a BIG believer in moms staying home, etc.  Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a sexist pig or anything, but just had some traditional ideals that modern day life no longer accomodates for a majority of people.  Many families have moms that stay home and do it very well.  My husband keeps promising me "Someday..."

So my hours at work have increased.  My duties at home have increased.  And my imagination has increased.  I was creatively blocked my entire pregnancy.  So now, nine months of ideas are cramming around in my head, wanting an outlet that I cannot provide.  When my head blows up, you'll be able to hear it miles away!

And speaking of exciting new frontiers in parenthood, just exactly what is the difference between fifth disease and sixth disease?  The rash is the same for both....stupid daycare contagious crap! ;P

Like being able to answer the questions of where you were when Kennedy was shot or when 9/11 happened, or how old you were when you started smoking or had sex the first time.  I was about six when I began my high-brow education of cussing.  My best friend at the time (who had the unfortunate nickname that most people reserve for their pets) had cable.  Specifically, Showtime.  Yeah, baby!  By the time I was in fourth grade, I had learned enough to earn an hour after school with the teacher.  Apparently, imitating Bette Midler from The Rose was not appropriate behavior!  I didn't know any sailors, wasn't related to any, but I sure could talk like them!  Fast forward several years, when I began working in law enforcement.  I learned new and inventive ways of cussing there!

So now we come to that grand moment in parenthood when we hear our children say something "colorful."  As parents, we can only blame ourselves.  We try not to cuss in front of our son, but that doesn't stop us from letting him watch shows on the Discovery Channel that unfortunately includes some language education along with the science and adventure.  He hasn't actually crossed the line yet, but he's oh-so-close.  In the car one day, something surprised him enough to make him blurt, "What the freaky heck?!"  I almost wrecked the car from laughing so hard!

And despite our best efforts not to curse in front of the kids, even when you mutter them under your breath, they can still hear you.  This is why some people turn red in the face when they are angry:  they are trying very hard not to cuss in front of the kids.  Of course, children look at you with almost telepathic understanding when you reach that point, and just blurt the words out later so you don't explode from the build up of pressure.

It should really be no surprise to anyone how red my face got when my son called me upstairs on bath night.  He had that look on his face.  You know the one I mean.  The gleeful look that usually results in either a very expensive repair bill or some extraordinary cleanup job.  I entered the bathroom to hear water running in the tub, which was not empty...

"No, you may NOT take a bath with the guinea pig!!"

The rodent lived.  So did my son, barely.  My red face was a combination of trying not to cuss, and to keep the laughter in!

He's with a cousin this week.  I wonder what bad words he will learn from him?

I got a call from one of my sisters tonight, who had been vacationing in Belize with nine other people (including my other sister and her husband).  They are fine!  She said most of the people in the house slept through the whole earthquake, with only one or two people waking up and noticing the windows and other things rattling.  She also said houses that had been on  ten-feet stilts were lowered to three-feet levels.  Other than the power being out, they had a great time!  My brother-in-law even forwarded some pictures of the fish they caught and other "venues" they visited while there.  mostly the beach and bar, from the sounds of things!

I'm just grateful my family and their friends made it back to the States okay.  In other news, my oldest lost his front tooth, and caught a snake today that he wants to keep and name "Duke".  Duke the Snake.  Lord, give me strength!

My sisters, their families, and a few friends are on vacation in Belize, which was part of the area struck by a 7.1 earthquake yesterday, and seventeen aftershocks all above magnitude 4.  Naturally, I haven't heard from them.  Power seems to still be out in the region, and cell towers aren't working, apparently.  I'm sure they were NOT killed, but the lack of information is disconcerting.  Are they injured?  Trapped?  Trapped by the pool with no choice but to continue sipping drinks with umbrellas?  The suspense is killing me.

I think if they plan on taking any more trips together, I may put in my vote to nix that.  If anything were to happen, I'd lose both of my sisters in one event.  I don't THINK so!

I'm also feeling rather odd.  I wrote a story, published by Hadley Rille Books in 2008 (Barren Worlds) called "Tiger's Eye View".  Basically, I blew up the planet volcanically (is that a word?).  This morning while perusing the news, I found an article at foxnews.com about a volcanic event 260 million years ago that may have resulted in a massive worldwide extinction.  According to the article, scientists at Britain's University of Leeds published an article in Friday's issue of the journal Science that talks about a volcano in what is now China that blew, sending lava into a shallow ocean that caused an enormous steam cloud to form over the earth and create acid rain, killing a great deal of animal and marine life.  Pretty bizarre.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,522691,00.html

Hope that address works.  I will let others read the article.  I think I've been watching Discovery Channel way too much, which is where I got the idea for the story in the first place!

Well, I'm off to paint, do grocery shopping, finish laundry, all the mommy stuff before kids get home from school.  I go back to work on Monday.  Work is going to be tough.  We're essentially down two people, and I'm going to be working a lot of hours, away from my family and baby.  I think I need coffee.  I need to keep busy, stay out of my head, if you get my drift.  Have a great day, everyone!

Help!  Save me! (Waving arms in the air) I'm switching to a MAC!!  (More frantic arm waving) Help!  I'm drowing!  Please!  Hel-glub, glub, glub. (Waving arms vanish below the water line).

Yes, I believe in monogamy.  So there!  Eleven years with the same guy, not too shabby!

You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 90% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 80% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 80% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 75% Wash (Ship Pilot) 75% Inara Serra (Companion) 60% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 35% Alliance 35% A Reaver (Cannibal) 30% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 25% River (Stowaway) 20%	Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.
Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...

Your results:
You are Anna Wu

Anna Wu 65% Morgan Grimes 55% Chuck Bartowski 52% Ellie Bartowski 50% Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb 50% Big Mike 45% Sarah Walker 41% Lester Patel 40% Jeff Barnes 30% Major John Casey 25%	You would rather be somewhere else than at work, but at least you can make the best of it by having the team spirit and helping bale your fellow employees out of tough spots.
Click here to take the "Which Chuck character are you?" quiz...

I believe I have blogged before about my refusal to join Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc.  Don't really see the point.  If I did join them, I'd spend more time on the computer contacting my "contacts" than actually getting anything done.

I caved.  I logged onto Twitter.  I'm only following a couple of people (my husband and a lady who invited us over for dinner), and it has actually turned out to be kind of useful.  I didn't have the cell phone or email of the lady who invited us to dinner, and I wanted to communicate with her.  I was able to 'Twit' her directly, and voila!  Within seconds of my post, she had called me with details for the dinner.  I could also directly 'Twit' to my husband, which seems very dumb, since he is currently sitting about eight feet away from me right now.

I'm old fashioned.  Sorry to say, since I'm only 38, but I guess I am.  When I write stories, I have to print them out to revise and edit.  I just have a harder time seeing mistakes on the computer screen.  I don't use the computer for about 90% of the things it can be used for.  I reach for an old fashioned heavy print dictionary before I think to look up a word online.  I reach for a cookbook instead of looking up a recipe online.  You get the idea.  Maybe I have too much of my dad in me.  It was like pulling teeth to get him to agree to buy a new TV set whenever the old one began giving out on him.

What started this whole discussion is the fact that I need a new computer.  I have a laptop that is also rather old and heavy, but it works.  I have a desktop that is finally kicking the bucket.  I don't like to buy a computer every 18 months.  I'll run it down into the ground, like a car.  I'm like that with pretty much everything.  I'll wait until it breaks.  So I was asking my hubby about whether it was possible to print several files I wanted before getting rid of the old computer.  He asked why not just burn everything to a CD?  Oh, didn't think of that.  Too futuristic, I guess.  I think I may also have an OC disorder when it comes to having more than one form of things.  Have a copy of a story on my desktop, my laptop, and a hard copy in a file cabinet.  Along with all incarnations and evolutions of said story.

I caved on the new computer aspect as well, and let my hubby order a Mac mini.  But I can put Windows on it.  So when it comes, I will again be offline trying to figure out the new computer.  I suppose I could have just updated the crap out of my laptop, souped it up with new versions of everything and mega security.  Didn't think about that until after the Mac was already ordered.  Oops.

I wonder how long it will be before I begin watching reruns of Lawrence Welk on TV?

I posted my blog earlier and went about my day, going to writing group, thinking about the lunch I had with a friend from out of town, etc.  I grew up with this friend.  I remember stories my mom used to tell me about adventures with her and her best childhood friend, "Bunny".  Well, this girl is my "Bunny".  Meaning she was my best friend in school, we always manage to spend some time together when she comes to town, and we know each other pretty well, despite the changes and challenges we've gone through in adulthood.

She read part of my short story "Tiger's Eye View" from Barren Worlds, published by Hadley Rille Books.  "I can tell that's you!  That sounds like something you'd say!"  She commented.  I think she meant it as a complement, but in thinking, I've begun to wonder.  I thought invisibility was the goal of the writer.  What was expected of children a hundred years ago (and even today in some families)? Seen, not heard?  Isn't that supposed to be my goal?  To write a story that grabs the reader and makes them forget who they are reading?

Is being invisible a constant goal?  Or do some authors get off the hook due to their long standing careers?  I ask, because one author in particular is no longer invisible to me.  I've been reading his work since I was eleven, and his literary style hasn't changed much in the past twenty years or so.  So when he puts a certain phrase in one of his books that is similar to something in another of his books, the invisibility cloak is gone, disabled.  I know instantly who I'm reading, and the spell of the story is broken.

How successful can a writer be at invisibility?  Is it too much to expect to have friends and family not know it's you when you hand them that story to read?  Is anonymity only achieved with strangers?  Does fame and fortune give you a hall pass on that skill?  Do you get a freebie when you reach a certain stage in your writing career, when everyone knows what you write and demands more?  When hiding behind the story is no longer possible, what becomes the new goal of an author?

I write because the ideas in my head will explode if I don't get them out.  The secondary goal is to entertain, possibly educate.  And if I get rich and famous along the way, that's okay, too.  It's a trade off, I suppose.  Writing for popularity may pay the bills and get you recognition, but when the author eclipses the story, then the story, and the reader, lose.

Okay, going to sleep now.

Okay, new vent.  Not about the baby (man are my arms tired!) or anything like that.  Just the "usual" about inconsistent paragraph length, my husband's suggestions on vernacular usage ('Sugar pie' vs. 'Honey') and how to keep tension and emotion flowing in my story.  And where to try to find a home for it.  Unfortunately, I doubt the word count can be cut and still save the feel of the story.  It's over 2K right now, and I now a lot of places only want 900 words or less for this particular theme.  More research is needed!

On a sad note, my earlier blog about Freelance Switch seems to be a bust.  I created my login, and the site refused to accept it.  I reset my password, tried to log in again, and was still refused!  As much as I HATE Twitter, I Twitted (is that really a word?) to see if some action will happen.  So I Twitted and protested in the same day.  Two firsts for me.

I have also been doing very well avoiding other blog or networking sites.  However, it seems that I may have to cave and get a networking site that is common with many of my friends.  I'll stay on LJ, no worries there.

Tonight is writing group.  Hopefully my hubby can keep the house from exploding while I'm gone!  Have a good night, everyone!

I wrote something today!  Well, edited and rewrote something.  But it was a story that hadn't seen me since January 2008!  Some mistakes were easy to spot, others were more of a struggle.  Now is the time to find someone to look over the story and see what is missing.

A question I have for fellow writers, (and perhaps I'm overthinking this) is who do you allow to look over your stories when getting critiques?  Target audience, or do you give it out to friends with different interests to get different takes on the story in question?  When I published my first story, I gave it to friends into sci-fi.  It was a sci-fi story.  Never thought twice about who should look at it.  Very specific target audience.

The story I'm working on now is definitely NOT sci-fi.  It also has a specific target audience.  I trust the opinion of who I imagine would read it, but also trust the opinion of my sci-fi friends who are experienced writers.  But I don't think this is a story my sci-fi/fantasy writer friends would be interested in.  Would they even give me the time of day for "jumping the shark"?

So excited to be writing again!

Okay, I'm a bit upset.  I honestly can't tell if it's hormonally driven or just stress.  I put my baby in daycare half days three days a week this month with the intention of getting something done around the house.  I tied my shoes this morning, and suddenly two hours had gone by, with nothing done!  Then my husband says, "Let's get some coffee!"  Crap!!!  So nothing has been done, again, and I have a rather large to-do list that I would like to finish before I go back to work in June.

We brought the baby home from daycare, and he fell asleep.  Okay, nap time.  Great time to get something done.  So here I am, on the computer.  My husband started talking this morning about freelance stuff.  Well, he's been talking about freelancing in his career for some time.  But it was never something I was interested in.  Chalk it up to pregnancy.  I wasn't interested in writing.  Fast forward several months and one c-section, and now, I REALLY want to write.  Very little time, same complaint many writers have to also have a day job and families.  My friend Ken McConnell has written to me about how he manages his time and still finds writing time, after juggling family and job.

So like an idiot, I start looking at www.freelanceswitch.com, and there are several writing jobs I am interested in.  I still want to write creatively and want to focus on fiction, but my writing group meets only twice a month.  Maybe I'm in massive withdrawal, but that isn't enough!  I doubt I could make enough money on the freelance stuff to even have to report it on taxes, but it would be writing, and I would be getting my name out there.

Then I see the pile of clean but wrinkled laundry that needs to be folded, and the myriad of other things around the house that still need to be done.  Sometimes being the mom sucks!  I wish I were an organizational monster like Ken.  Or my friend Erica, who is a SAHM, runs a business, and deals with children who have health issues.  She is an organizational machine, too.  I can see now why some moms are in treatment programs for meth addiction!  How else would we get it all done?

Looking at that last paragraph, I do NOT imply that any of my friends are meth users!  Just clarifying.

Okay.  Deep breath.  So I think I've put the freelance question out there before, but doing it again.  Has anyone been happy doing the freelance thing?  I hear you can make a living at it, if you do it aggressively enough, and charge enough for your work.  Right now I'm just looking at some article review type jobs and such.  Perhaps some content writing, I don't know.

The other side of the coin is, is it something I can keep up once I start my other job again?  Am I just blathering on because subconsciously I'm bored with maternity leave, and looking for something to do?

I  need chocolate.  My brain hurts.

Thanks to those who replied to my lonely pity party!  I do have grownup writer friends!  I've been so swamped in baby supplies and reruns of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" that I thought I had dropped off the planet!  Yep, that's my life.  A lot can be said about one's life when examining the shows their children watch, and the amount of diapers the other one goes through.

On a strange note, my baby slept THROUGH THE NIGHT last night.  Scared the crap outta me!  I woke up with my husband's alarm, and had that panic moment when I realized that I never got up with the baby last night.  That, compounded with the fact that I-gasp in horror-put him down on his tummy last night, due to a stuffy nose.  I ran downstairs, and he was FINE!  I actually had to wake him up!

Now that I've said this, tonight is probably going to be hell, with no sleep at all.

My husband and I have been having a sort of debate about blogs.  His idea of a blog was kind of like a portfolio or resume.  Networking with the intent of getting ideas out there in hopes of getting referrals for work.  He's in school now for graphic web design, so that's his primary focus.  So he was rather surprised to discover that blogs can also just be really long Twitters, diary entries, rant sessions, etc.  Don't knock it.  With his goal being in design, he doesn't look at blogs or Twits unless it has some educational tag to it.  So he really didn't understand why many people would post online journal entries.  He doesn't keep up on my blog very often, and that's all my blog is!

Well, time to go.  Another day of getting nothing accomplished, and I need to get the baby from daycare.  Which seems to be going well, under the circumstances.  Two new teachers started in the baby room on the same day we started taking him there.  And apparently, while they have the qualifications to work there, it had been a long time since they had been with babies.  I had to explain the bottle system I use with my baby, as apparently there was some confusion yesterday!  Oh well.  The kid was handed to me alive and in good shape, and no diaper rash.

Have a good day, everyone!

When I first began blogging, about a year ago, it was solely with the intention of getting some writing exercise, networking with other writers, and basically teaching myself to think about writing for an audience.  Some days I met that goal, but most days lately it had been a large vent-fest.  Since I became pregnant and had my baby, the writing has taken a back burner.  As a result, my writer/blogger 'friends' no longer make comments.  No surprise, really, since I can't really be considered part of the 'writing crowd' any more.  I want to be part of the 'writer crowd', but it will be some time before that happens.  The other reason there are no comments, I believe, is because I just don't blog regularly any more, and so those people who used to follow my blog no longer do so, because posts are few and far between to keep up with on a schedule.

So I cherish those who do say 'hi' from time to time, and let me know that I still am part of the Internet universe!  I suppose it's akin to wanting to have grownup conversations after dealing with children a majority of the time.

On another  note, Camille Alexa and Lancer Kind had their book readings in Seattle this weekend.  I was going to go, but my husband got a sinus infection, and going over Snoqualmie Pass is not a good idea with a sinus infection.  So we missed it.  I can't wait to read Camille's blog and see how it went.  I'm sure if you go to lancerkind.com, you will find out!

With the baby in daycare three half-days a week, I might actually be able to get some writing in.  Tackle some projects that got put on hold last summer.  I hope some of those ideas are still viable!

I left hubby in charge last night for a little over two hours.  Two hours, no problem, I thought.  It's been a while, and he's never really been alone with both kids.  I come back to the story of kid vomit, dog poop, and dirty laundry on the living room floor from aforementioned kid vomit.  Well, spit up, really.  But the kind that covers a lot of clothing!

When I started this blog, barely five minutes ago, the baby WAS asleep.  Now he's crying.  That's kids for you.  They never bother you until you are on the phone or trying to update the blog!

I'm faced with the not so fun pleasure of putting my baby in daycare.  I don't have to go back to work right away yet, but infant daycare is such a premium, in such high demand, that if I don't take the opening that pops up, I lose my spot, and go back to waiting who knows how long.  So in filling out the application, one question is "Child's favorite activity."  The kid is two months old.  Right now, he sticks out his tongue and can fill three diapers in under two minutes.

Which is why I'm so tired now.  He didn't sleep much last night, and we went through lots of diapers.  Yeah, right now, my idea of going green is checking out the contents of said disposable diapers.  That's green, sometimes.  EEWWWW!!!

A can of worms has been opened in my house.  In moving furniture from one room to another, we decided we need to clean the carpets.  Okay, no prob.  Until I look up from the floor and see the walls.  OMG!!!  Nasty, horrible, not painted in the ten years we've lived here walls.  So I found some paint on sale and have half the room done.  Clean half the carpet, move furniture, paint and clean the other half.  Then do the same in the baby's room.   I love the mistint sales at paint stores.  A gallon for only two dollars?  Yeah, baby!

I bragged that the baby slept six hours in one night.  Oops.  The next night, he only slept three, and that was only because I was holding him!  But last night he only woke up once.  I have the strangest kids.

In catching up with Eric Reynolds of Hadley Rille Books, I have discovered that the reading in Seattle is kind of an exclusive event, so I won't be able to read from my story there.  Lancer Kind is setting up the event, and it should be checked out!  There is a chance to do another reading at a later date.  If that becomes a reality, I will let everyone know.  If we go to Seattle that weekend in May anyway, I may go to the reading just to meet more Hadley Rille authors and get some signatures.  Good vacation time, no matter what.

Now, off to fold laundry.  Yippee.

I am here, praying the baby doesn't wake up in the next half hour or so.  I have so much to write about, I don't know where to begin.  The last few weeks have been crazy/wonderful.  I had a c-section, which sucked.  The first two weeks of recovery sucked.  Not being able to move, and being in physical pain just aren't things to be doing when you are supposed to be on "vacation".  One of my sisters helped the first week, and grandma helped for a couple of days.  People at our church brought tons of food (which my oldest son hated).  But I must say, this time around is much easier than last time.  It is a combination of having more perspective and experience, and the fact that this baby is much easier!  He sleeps at night (six hours last night!), and has only rare bouts of colic.

Nursing this time has been a challenge.  Nursing and pumping have turned me into an Austin Powers fem-bot.  Now, for you men out there that may sound pretty cool.  Hah, joke's on you!  My husband keeps his hands to himself, thank you very much!  He learned from last time!  Poor guy.  Poor me!  But the dry spell will pass.

What else in family news?  My oldest had two teeth pulled at the dentist yesterday.  That was a mommy nightmare.  I picked him up from school and we drove to the office.  I explained to him what would happen, and that I would be there for him.  I tried to downplay the pain without completely ignoring it, and told him that the novocaine shot was the worst part.  When we got to the office, I tried to go in with him, but was asked to wait in the waiting room, "so he won't think I'm trying to save him."  Good call.  I'd heard that many children do better at the dentist when the parent isn't close by.  True story in my case.  I sat in the waiting room, in standard waiting room furniture, with the baby in my arms and feeding him a bottle, waiting for that wail signalling my child's pain.  There was another child crying in another dentist cubicle (but she was only about two), and the sounds were making me cringe.  Strangely, that wail of pain never came from my son.  I was still wondering when they were going to start, when the hygenist brought him out, mouth full of gauze, and said he did great!  For him, he said the worst part was the novocaine, but not getting the shot.  He hated the fuzzy, puffy feeling of his lip.

In other news, I have wanted to start writing again.  Any idea how hard it is with a baby?  I haven't come up with any new story ideas, but I would like to work on the old ones, maybe hit my journal again, etc.  Yeah, whatever.  With everything going on, it's a bit more difficult than I thought it would be.  Not only has the writing but hit, but the spring cleaning bug, too.  That, also, is not easy with a baby.

In going through my LJ friend's blogs, I found that a fellow Hadley Rille author, Camille Alexa, will be attending a Hadley Rille reading in Seattle on May 1st and 2nd.  That happens to be a four day weekend for my son's school, and we have family in the area.  So I think I'm going to call, set up some babysitting, and see if I can join that bandwagon!  That will be a month before I have to go back to work.

Oh yeah, work.  Maybe I can write a couple hundred words during lunch breaks.