I'm trying so hard to stay positive.  But when I gain weight faster than I'm supposed to on a weekly basis, and I actually outgrow maternity clothes (how the hell does that happen?!), it's a bit difficult.  It's all water retention, but still.  I'm waiting for GreenPeace to come and tow me back out to sea.  That's how big I am now.  And nobody thought there were beached whales in Idaho-a landlocked state!  It can happen!  Really!

It's only temporary,  I know.  And soon I'll have a beautiful baby to show for it.  Whatever.  If I'm going to gain more than a pound a week (and it's been a LOT more than that) I should proudly be able to say it was from the brownies, or cake, or the all-you-can-eat buffet.  But noooo, I'm drinking water.  And where is that water going?  Not the bathroom, despite my every-ten-minutes regimen.  Let's just say I used to have ankles.  And feet.

Anyone ever see Big Trouble in Little China?  Mid 80's, Kurt Russell, John Carpenter flick?  The scene where the evil henchman uses magic to try to inflate himself, and loses control?  Bad special effects, where they show his swollen feet and hands, before he blows up in an explosion of clothing and Moo Goo Gai Pan.  Yeah, that would be me.  Except it would be Cashew Chicken in my case.  Not a bad last meal, if you ask me!  :)

Sorry about the rant, gang.  I've been waddling by too many reflective surfaces lately.  I was downtown yesterday, and let's just say window shopping isn't what it used to be!  I take up the whole damn window!  The whole block of windows!

One week to go!