Today, brothahs and sistahs, we are going to talk about Adam and Eve, among other things.  Can I get an AMEN!!!  For it says in the book of Genesis that when Eve listened to the serpent, took of the forbidden apple, and gave it unto Adam, they disobeyed God.  For this, God gave them their walking papers.  He told Adam that he would have to toil in the ground for his food, and his children would hate brussel sprouts and refuse to eat the fruits and vegetables of his labor, and only want french fries instead.  And he said unto Eve, he said, "Girl, you gonna get pregnant, get bitchy, and it's gonna HURT when you give birth!"

Can I get another A-MAYEN!!!!

Ever since,  generations of women have been taught this, and have often asked:  Okay, so Eve did that to God.  Okay, gotcha.  What did I do to Eve?  Now tell me, have there been any men out there who haven't wondered the same thing?  What did they do to Adam to deserve such a fate?  Or what did they do to Eve?  Because we all know that Adam did not have the ability to roll his eyes, until Eve became pregnant and lit into him in a hormonal rush.  And ever since, men have been rolling their own eyes when women begin to succumb to the influence of their pregnancy induced madness.  But when the morning sickness begins, and the crying ensues, no one is immune.

Can I get a Hallelujah!

But fear not, my brothahs and sistahs!  Fear not, I say!  For though we walk in the valley of unshaved legs and untied shoelaces, and a woman's belly looks like a road map of Montana from all the stretch marks, there is HOPE!  AMEN!!!  Because soon, my fellow humans, all over the world, doctors and nurses and taxi cab drivers will be catching those little bundles of glory as they come forth amidst the screams and the cursing and the occasional thrown punch.  YAY-ESSS!!!  And there will be joy, and tears, and laughter.

Until the colic begins.

Let us pray.